Lonely :(

The words I'm saying right now, I don't know if they'll hurt you
They'll probably make you hate me forever
You, saying that I'm not the same as I used to be, is not completely untrue
This changed me is a stranger to myself as well
You are so kind but that's the way you are but oh
I don't know I don't know Why I am like this
We were so in love, and you're here now but oh
I don't know I want to find myself now
Baby I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm Lonely
I must be lacking when it comes to love, please forgive this person horrible person I am
I'm sorry, this is your and my story
I must not be worthy of this thing called love, even though I'm by your side
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
You didn't do anything wrong, I'm the strange one
It seems I've already been prepared long ago, for our breakup
I really wanted to treat you well, out of all the times, why is it when I'm confronted by love
I am shrinking away & am lonely endlessly
You are so kind but That's the way you are but
Baby I'm sorry, even when I'm with you, I'm Lonely
I must be lacking when it comes to love, please forgive this person horrible person I am
I'm sorry, this is your and my story
I must not be worthy of this thing called love, even though I'm by your side
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
Cuz I'm just another girl
This night is lonely, I
Can't take any more, Good bye
Cuz I'm just another girl
I'm so lonely
Even though I'm by your side right now
Baby I'm so lonely
Lonely lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely
Baby I'm so lonely lonely lonely

me + you = us

life lessons :)

  One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. Tragedy, sadness, loneliness and despair taught me that life is really a beautiful thing, if it wasn't I wouldn't be able to recognize that anything was wrong. May we never let the things we can't have, or don't have, or shouldn't have, spoil our enjoyment of the things we do have and can have. As we value our happiness, let us not forget it, for one of the greatest lessons in life is learning to be happy without the things we cannot or should not have..  

im still frustrated :(

  I pretend to be happy so I don't have to explain myself to people who'll never understand. I need to take an emotional breath, step back and remind myself who is actually in charge of my life. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why i'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.  

try to understand how i felt ..

   Do you think its easy being me? Do you think its easy putting on the act that I do everyday? I smile when all I want to do is cry... I laugh when all I want to do is die.. I want to tell everyone how my world falls apart each night when I am laying in bed with tears in my eyes, pleading with god to help me. I want to let everyone know what it is like to be me, pretending to be happy... pretending to like myself, If it was up to me, I wouldn't be pretending, I would actually be happy... Too bad its not.

Promise means nothing to you.

  You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes? You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... everything is.