im still frustrated :(

  I pretend to be happy so I don't have to explain myself to people who'll never understand. I need to take an emotional breath, step back and remind myself who is actually in charge of my life. I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why i'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.